I am currently on an emotional state of my life. Last night I found myself crying, deep crying. I am in pain for whatever reason. I’m figuring out what could the reason be. I don’t know if it’s about my insecurities or the fact that I am always being taken for granted.
Yeah, I guess I’ve come to a realization that whatever I do I am always taken for granted. They say kind people are being taken for granted most of the time in which case I am. I’m not always nice neither super nice but maybe with the way I treat people and just say ‘yes’ whenever they ask favor or the fact that I am always there when a friend is need makes them think that I do not need any appreciation from them. Relating it to my family wise, it’s kind of similar. I want an iPad mini but I didn’t get to have yet. I feel like I’m always giving my best whenever they ask me to do this or that. I always give what I can yet they do not appreciate it. It’s as if it’s always my “utang na loob” that they’re doing this for me. I just hate being taken for granted. All I wanted is a good thank you or so but they cannot give it to me. Am I not deserving for anything? Sucks! :|
Then, I don’t know. I feel lonely right now. I do not have anyone with me. I mean, good to have JJ back but I know that he’s not going to be here for me anyways. It’s not as if he is here to stay, he’d just be the usual guy he is who’s gonna be there when in need and left when he’s not. Sucker! :| I suddenly have this feeling of loneliness. I do not have anyone for me :( I hate this feeling. I hate when life is like this. But at least I can feel Jesus comfort. I can feel his presence and his tap on my shoulder telling me it’s going to be alright.
ASDFGHJKL. I AM MAD. SOMEHOW PISSED BUT I CANNOT SAY THIS TO ANYONE. I actually wish to write a more detailed note indicating my deepest thoughts but my mind is all mess up. I cannot think straight :(
I’m a sucker for that so pardon me my dearest. I just cannot move on from what happened early this morning. I am stuck in the thinking that nothing happened today and that everything is simply a nightmare. I will continue to rant or probably think about the Celtics game until such time I can finally accept the defeat. Maybe I have accepted that they lost but not the fact that Big 3 is out next season. I actually had a premonition about this. This morning I woke up thinking why the hell am I cheering for OKC when Celtics is still playing. So, that kind of leaves me with no choice for I don’t want Heat to be the Champions so yes, go OKC!
I am still in disbelief that tomorrow or Tuesday I will not be able to cheer for Boston. I will not see Rondo play for I have to wait for another season which will be next year? I am such a loser for not watching the team closely so therefore I promise that when the next season starts and at least Garnett, Rondo and Pierce would remain, I’ll watch the season as close as I can be. I am positive and still praying that Big 4 will continue unto next season because of the amazing performance the team made this playoffs.
Maybe I became a fanatic of Rondo, maybe I just became attached to him so much that I am this disappointed right now. I made some research about him and I was surprised to find out that he already have a wife and a daughter. I was just into him; a fangirl like I normally am. I think he’s amazing, and yes, he is good looking. His physique is just firm and small and when he is beside Garnett he looks like his son. He is the leader inside the court and one of the best point guards I’ve ever seen. He knows when to shoot hoops when to steal, pass or make a play for his team. He is amazing! He is someone I truly admire right now. He is someone I will continue to watch in the next, I don’t know, maybe 10 more years? Until he decides to quit. I will watch his game live before he retires. I swore to that!
I actually want the Big 4 to stay because I wanted to watch a live game featuring the 4 of them. It’s been a while since I became this affected on a sports game and I don’t know what Celtics has done unto me. I am so down and depressed. I feel so bad right now like something was taken away from me. Right now I feel bad like hell! I know I am simply a fan and why am I affected when I haven’t watched it live? But just like what Rondo said, they had it but allowed it to slip away.
I feel like in Boston Celtics it is a family. Coach Doc Rivers, I’ve never seen a coach as passionate and act as a father like the way you did. I admire the dedication of Coach Rivers. Whenever I see the Boston team, I feel like they are a big family and they all look a like just with different complexion.
I don’t know what else to say. I feel like I’m about to cry again by simply thinking of the team. By thinking of Rondo I am about to cry too, or worst by thinking that Big 3 is about to leave. I’ll miss seeing Pierce and his foul trouble face. I’ll miss seeing KG giving advice to Rondo inside the court and shoot those hooks. I’ll miss Allen making the 3’s and making a good play. I don’t know but I feel like I am about to say goodbye to someone who’s been a big part of me already. I feel like I’ve known them for so long that my heart is not ready to say goodbye. I’m having chest pain due to emotional stress, the stress that they give me for not making it and for trying but wasn’t enough.
I hate when people kept on saying that HEAT wins! Fck that. They won, I know, no need to give emphasis. Ughh. I am crying. Fuck this! I’ll miss Rondo. Rondo baby, can you just come back and play? Can everything be reversed? Can Lebron be gone and just skip the part where he shoots that 40 points from before?